Nursery, maid or babysitter?

Today is the 1st day I sent Hariz to the nursery. It was hard and I cried the whole night before. This is the 1st time after confinement I'm letting someone else, a total stranger taking care of my baby. I've thought all the possibilities to not send Hariz to nursery like hiring a maid, let Hariz be with my mom in Alor Setar and send Hariz to a babysitter.

In the end, sending Hariz to nursery would be the best because if hiring a maid to take care of him, he will be alone just with the maid. but in nursery, there'll be plenty of helpers if one had to leave Hariz for awhile. If leaving Hariz at home in Alor Setar, we won't be seeing Hariz in like a week! and if sending to a babysitter, there'll be no proper guidelines or rules for them. *sigh* But of course, different people will be with different opinion.

Anyways, I sent Hariz before 9am, he was asleep before I brought him to the nursery. Once he was there, he started to cry. I can't watch him crying. I just breaks my heart! At that moment, my eyes were already wet but I tried to hold back my tears. I quickly get home, which is only next door, regain my strength and head back to the nursery to stay for a few minutes.

Once I got there, Hariz has already asleep. I stayed there for a few minutes and suddenly he wakes up and cried. I just watched the babysitter took care of Hariz. I need to know how they handle Hariz in all situations like when he cries, when he whimpers, etc.

I stayed for almost 1 hour. Hariz seems fine. I was too carried away with the whole sending-Hariz-to-nursery-is-a-bad-idea thing. So I headed home to start my EBM (expressed breastmilk) which ended up 7.5 oz in 1 hour. I smiled to myself and feeling content. I then thawed the EBM in the frozen section in 3 bottles. 2.5 oz each. It's easier for the people at the nursery to feed Hariz with that amount without wastage.

Tomorrow is another day for me without Hariz. I will start work next week and really hope Hariz will be doing ok at the nursery, just like the rests of the baby.. Just tawakkal kepada Allah...